She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
