If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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