I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
