I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
