I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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