how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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