the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
