I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I would fuck him just for his dog
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
