I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
