that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
