why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Who died my cat blue again?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
