And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
