I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
