So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
