Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
