Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
