If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
