thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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