even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
