whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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