we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
