We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
