But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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