So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
