she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
