So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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