You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize