Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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