it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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