i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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