Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We have so much sex to catch up on
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
