i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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