I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
