recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
