We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
