just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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