They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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