I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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