I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize