We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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