ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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