Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
