I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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