john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
