Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Everclear isn't food dammit
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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