My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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