Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
