It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
