You're completely useless in the revolution.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
