It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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