Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Even my vagina gasped.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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