Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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