i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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