he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize