U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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