Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
