Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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