im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
