a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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