u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
