her vagine was all disorganized.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
