I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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