i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize